Where do I start

you can only start where you are at. meet yourself at where you are inside. go ahead and think. think about how your body feels and has felt lately. whatever you come up with doesn't matter really. as long as you gave yourself a chance to speak and an ear to listen. so we can lay out what we've been suppressing on the table. just to say okay this is how I think things are right now and then watch them change right out from under you. it's okay to not know how you feel as well, that's still a label. once you have made a decision of any sort, or not, notice your breath. this palpitating rhythm you are living it. every moment we cannot help but breathe out what the earth uses to photosynthesize- every moment the earth breathes out what we breathe in to live.

(chest)   (abdomen)   (chest&abdomen)      

3 ways of of feeling the breath

the breath directed towards the abdomen is often the method used in meditation. the focus is on the diaphragm moving up and down, being with the up and then.. the down, in the changing moment that is always constant— presence. 

Ocean Tide

waves 

Accepting

once all these thoughts and emotions have been labeled all we can do is accept them for the beautiful thing happening. they are going to change, if we don't change with it we just get confused and frustrated. the method or what we did yesterday to feel a certain way is no longer useful today. meditation happens when neuroplasticity is thriving and causing new connections inside us, not when we use the old reliable synapse highways. throw it all away.

Think me im real

adhd mindfuck i am.. ideas are not going anywhere. for this moment abandon them. without anything attached. come back to the space you left because the idea was fun. “oh I'm not focused” and just seeping back in, nothing else. just always going back. it doesn't matter how many times you go out and back into the space. it's the acceptance of realizing it, knowing you've been there before, knowing you'll be there again, and just leaving without judgement. always forgetting just to experience remembering again.

i    n        i    n        i    n        i    n        g    o        b    a    c    k        i    n

Transformation of suppression into acceptance

the tightness in your head, chest, gut.. sit with those feelings in your calm. like a myofascial trigger point, put your mind on them and sit on it. sit with that thing that felt a little off and watch it completely change out from under you. this is acceptance. this is the Observer seeing the impermanence. 

Listen

you have ears. they can never be turned off. what is in this present moment.. let them bring you into it. a completely new sound for this moment now. nothing is the same.

Humming

the mind racing like it's a 5k can be calmed by sending that vibration through your body, your cranium, and the room. clear the space so there's more room, literally and vibrationally. reset the parasympathetic nervous system by pulling the ears with a firm grip: pull by the earlobe down, pull the back of the ear backward, and then pull the top of the ear up- in that order.

Choosing

it is a choice. will we choose to stay married to our anxieties. no matter how the mind is, this thing is always there. is a decision of discipline. will you demonstrate the control you have over yourself- to yourself. choose to go back in, or don’t. whatever you may feel, may you feel it with all your heart. may you feel it like a human that's aware they are human.